The Motel 6 secret service cock-blocked the shit out of D-tox getting a full night’s rest in Kev-In-Rock’s and LardOG’s room. D-tox had to sleep in a ditch and dreamed of hanging out with skunks in a shitty forest with no light.
Kev-In-Rock is really fucking up on this trip and today is her day to drive. (Thank the Dark Carnival we’re high as shit!!!!!)
Yesterday, LardOG pounded out 800 miles but she hasn’t even gone 300 before dark! WTF?!?
You might ask… “Why the fuck she so slow?”
1. Well she ran outta gas. (her fault)
2. The front tire has a slow leak (her fault) & we have to keep refilling it.
3. x2 Hail storms, so harsh we had to stop under the mutha fuckin’ overpass (also her fault)
4. She’s worried we will be found out to be Juffalos.
5. She farted all up in this Braum’s ice cream restaurant.
6. She got pulled over for speeeeeding. (definitely her fault)
These thunderstorms have been creepin’ on us like that happy, spiky-dude-throwin’-ass cloud on Mario.
Speakin’ of creepin’, so this pussy ass piggy pulled us over for speeding on Garth Brooks Blvd. WTF kind of America is this bitch? Kev-in-Rock redeemed herself by girling her way out of a ticket. Mad props.
We did Waffle House where we got deep into the Lion King and ate hash browns—capped.
The boners at Walmart could not fix our tire. This Prius car is a piece of shit, much like other shit from Burbank.
But we still got faith, y’all. Nothin’s gonna stop us from getting our heads sprung nor corndogs soggy, doggy.
Aight, my nizzos are sweating from typing with this laptop on my lap (duh). Peace, ninjas.
From outside the car window:
Each day, return to SEANCARNAGE.COM for exclusive reporting from performer Kevin Blechdom(aka Kev-In-Rock) and her companions D-tox (musician/photographer Dalton Blanco) and LardOG (aka Captain Ahab director Lawrence Klein) as they trek across America to the 12th Gathering of the Juggalos.